Why I Gave Up Fighting My Depression
“A man is a product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes” – Gandhi.
If history has shown us anything, it’s that waging a war on a problem seems to do nothing more than perpetuate the cycle of war. Wars on terror, wars on drugs and wars on illnesses… where have these gotten us really?
As a symbol of change being possible I think Nelson Mandela said it best… “I dream of an Africa that is at peace with itself”. Instead of focusing on putting an end to violence, wars and hatred he focused all his thoughts, words and actions on the highest ideals he could… forgiveness, freedom, love and peace.
I really think the same analogy is true when we are at our lowest points… when all our focus is on how unwell we are feeling, and how bad everything is… all we do is perpetuate these bad feelings and emotions.
Now, I can only speak and share from my own personal experience, but when I was at my absolute lowest point with my depression. I had completely hit a wall. I had tried everything… I’d been to acupuncture, therapy, doctors, tried anti-depressants, meditation, exercise, yoga, energy healing, nutritional changes… you name it. I should’ve been a poster boy for wellness yet I felt completely dead on the inside.
I remember sitting down one day saying to myself “I fucking give up.” I was absolutely tired and exhausted with waging an outright war on my depression. But it was at this very point that I started to get better. I gave up fighting, and really accepted where I was at. I allowed myself to feel the sadness, the emptiness, the pain, the anger the desperation and the fear that I had been trying to run away from.
I’m not saying that all these different modes of wellness don’t work. Far from it, they work brilliantly. All I’m saying is that my intention around doing these activities changed from one of escaping my feelings, to participating in activities because they promote wellness within me.
From here I started to formulate an idea of a new future for myself. A future in which I was doing things that I love, having good people in my life, having more positive thoughts than negative ones and consciously speaking words that were in alignment with this new future. This future is my focus, and this focus is now becoming my reality.
I can’t say that I don’t still have days where I wake up feeling like shit. I totally still have these days, but I just remind myself that I’m having what I call a ‘random brain’ day, and that it’s probably not the best day to pay much attention to what’s going on in my head, and I focus on shifting my attention to some positive things and activities immediately. It’s taken time and effort, but it has made a profoundly positive change in my life.
This is one of the very reasons you’ll find Jimi and I not talking about “Punching Depression in the Face” or “Fighting Depression” any more. Our focus is on inspiration, information, support, lifting ourselves up and mental wellness. I really want to encourage you to join us in keeping these things a strong focus in your life as well.
Big Hugs x